Posts Tagged ‘white’


Are you a street savvy “bad boy” who loves rap and dreams of becoming a hip hop legend like Tupac Shakur?

If so, a major record company is looking for you.

Physical requirements:

  • White/Caucasian
  • Early 20’s (no older than 25)
  • Between 5′ 8 and 6′ 1
  • Model-type, athletic
  • Well-tanned
  • Short hair (ex: Channing Tatum)
  • Body tattoos (no face tattoos)

Looking for someone with natural swag, street smarts, and good looks who feels comfortable rapping about street life while appealing to a 12-17 year old white female demographic. Must know street slang and speak with “flavor”. Rapping experience a plus but not required. Must be a team player as you will be working closely with a group of songwriters, vocal coaches, and image consultants.

If this sounds like you, please submit the following:

  • A short video explaining why you think you should be selected
  • 2 to 3 pictures (including headshot and full-body shot)
  • Links to music and/or videos (if available)

Email your material to

Deadline is March 15, 2015.

Good luck!

# # #

ATTENTION: This is satire. However, given the state of the music business, give it a few more months and this may become a reality.

The email address listed above is real. I initially wanted to use “” as an address but it was already taken. The irony!  Of course, if someone actually submits their material, I may just be sharing it in a forthcoming article.  Stay tuned. This could get ugly.

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This is just an illustration, not my actual family.


My wife is Black. I’m white. And we’re raising our biracial children to be Black and proud of it.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past year…or the past 500 years, America isn’t a big fan of Black people. Sure, some Black celebrities seem to have overcome racial discrimination (at least in public), and Barack Obama’s presidency still manages to deceive “color blind” unicorn chasers into believing that we live in a post-racial society. But in the real world, white supremacy is alive and well, and Black people are still getting the short end of the nightstick.

Every 28 hours (research shows it might actually be less), a police officer or vigilante reminds the world that Black lives don’t matter. Around the nation, countless schools that primarily serve Black students have been forced to close their doors, reminding us that Black children don’t matter. From Brooklyn to Los Angeles, predominantly Black neighborhoods are being gentrified to make room for hipsters who need to be closer to their jobs, reminding us that Black people can be brushed aside when they’re “in the way”. In the meantime, job seekers with names like Keisha or DeShawn have to consider the possibility that their resumes might be thrown away, reminding us that Black identity in its most basic form is enough to trigger fear, discrimination, and hate.

Through mainstream rap music and reality TV, the entertainment industry promotes the worst in racial stereotypes, reminding us that Black lives exist only to entertain. Movies like Exodus erase Black people out of history and replace them with quasi British white people, reminding us that Black people can be conveniently edited out of existence. Black people aren’t even allowed to portray fictional characters, whether it be Idris Alba as the next James Bond or John Boyega as a Black Stormtrooper in the new Star Wars, without a trillion racists screaming bloody murder on talk radio and’s comment section, reminding us that Black people have no right to exist even as figments of someone’s imagination.

This is the world in which my biracial children live: a place where Black people are made to feel inferior; a place where mixed kids like mine consider choosing their white side in an attempt to escape the hate they see around them everyday.

But in my household, Black is beautiful. It’s powerful. It’s celebrated. It goes against the popular narrative. It’s a reality my children embrace with pride. It’s their legacy, a link to greatness. It’s the freedom fighters in Ferguson and across the nation who stand on the shoulders of their predecessors. It’s Malcolm and Martin. It’s Bobby and Huey. It’s Bayard Rustin and Fannie Lou Hamer. It’s Yosef Ben-Jochannan, John Henrik Clark, and Frances Cress-Welsing. It’s Assata and Angela. It’s Charles Drew. It’s Marcus Garvey. It’s Ida B. Wells and Mary McLeod Bethune. It’s Lewis Latimer and Benjamin Banneker. It’s Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth. It’s the millions who fought for Black survival and dignity. It’s Queen Nzingha and Shaka Zulu. It’s the Ashanti people and the scholars of Timbuktu. It’s Auset and Ausar. It’s Maat. It’s Imhotep. It’s unapologetic Black genius from the inception of civilization, science, medicine, music, poetry, and architecture. It’s the birth of humankind.

It’s Chuck D and Rakim. It’s MC Lyte and Lauryn Hill. It’s Sade and Bob Marley. It’s Curtis Mayfield and Gladys Knight. It’s Stevie Wonder and Donny Hathaway. It’s Fela Kuti and Marlena Shaw. It’s John Coltrane and Billie Holiday. It’s Maya Angelou, Nikki Giovanni, and Langston Hughes. It’s Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee. It’s James Baldwin and James Brown. It’s The Last Poets. It’s Chuck Berry and Big Mama Thornton. It’s Paul Robeson. It’s Hip Hop, R&B, Reggae, Rock & Roll, the Blues, Jazz, and Gospel. It’s the drums, the syncopation, the movement, the riff, the scat, the breath itself.

It’s everything the world around them will otherwise teach them to forget about who they are, where they come from, and how much power they possess.

Are they being denied their white side? Of course not. They have half of their loving family to remind them of it and an elaborate global infrastructure set up to maintain it by any means necessary. Their white heritage will be fine. It’s never been jeopardized, compromised, disrespected, disregarded, under-valued, silenced, fetishized (see Iggy), threatened, attacked, or oppressed on a mass scale. The side I’m concerned about is the one that still requires a hashtagged reminder that in 2015, Black Lives Matter. Thankfully, in my household, not a day goes by that my children aren’t reminded of this truth.

Ironically, I know that I must now brace myself for all the hate mail and racist comments I’ll undoubtedly receive as a result of this article. And that’s exactly why my wife and I celebrate our children’s Black heritage. The rest of the world certainly won’t do it for us.

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When I wrote “Notice to Black Artists: Your Services Are No Longer Needed” back in February 2014, Iggy Azalea hadn’t yet hitnumber 1 on the charts, Hot 97′s Rosenberg hadn’t yet insulted a Hip Hop legend, Damon Dash hadn’t repopularized the term “culture vulture”, and hipsters hadn’t become the target of my wrath. But here we are, four months later, and the issue of Black music’s cultural misappropriation is back on the table…or maybe it never left.

Are white artists really taking over rap and R&B or are we just acting like narrow-minded paranoids? Back in May, the Billboard Music Awards awarded Justin Timberlake as best R&B artist, Eminem as best rapper, Robin Thicke with best R&B song, and Macklemore for best rap song. There were no Black winners. Just look at who dominates Rock & Roll, Blues, and Jazz today. Is history repeating itself?

The truth is, white artists have been part of the R&B and Hip Hop landscape for a long time.  Acts like Teena Marie, the Doobie Brothers, the Average White Band, and Hall & Oates are often referred to as blue-eyed soul singers. The legendary 60′s musicians from Muscle Shoals, Alabama were behind some of the greatest R&B songs of all times. In Hip Hop, some of the world’s most loved rap songs were created by white artists including Planet Rock co-produced by Arthur Baker and Keith LeBlanc, T-La Rock and LL Cool J’s early work with Rick Rubin, the Beastie Boys iconic first album, and a number of Golden Age classics from Rakim, Ultramagnetic MC’s, Organized Konfusion, and Main Source produced by Paul C (RIP). While questions regarding rap and R&B’s white takeover have been raised over the last few decades, for the most part, these white artists have been judged on their talents and creative output.

It wasn’t until Vanilla Ice came into the picture that the idea of rap’s misappropriation became a “major” issue in the world of Hip Hop. However, his color wasn’t as big of a problem as him being a fraud was. And the real culprit wasn’t even Vanilla Ice, who was too naive and inexperienced to understand how he was being manipulated; it was the music industry who pumped millions into making Mr. Robert Van Winkle the king of rap. Their investment proved successful as rap’s Elvis became a multi-platinum selling artist. Years later, he realized how he had been played and distanced himself from his former rap alter-ego.

Although the Iggys, Mileys, and Riff Raffs of the world are definite examples of cultural misappropriation, there are many talented white rappers and singers like R.A. The Rugged Man or Daley who, although lesser known than a Robin Thicke or Macklemore, are generally accepted for their art. With watered-down rap and R&B appealing to pop culture sensibilities, or teenage white girls who make up the majority of the buying public, the issue now is more about how the music industry positions these white commercial artists to become the new face of Hip Hop and R&B.  Twelve year old Katelynn from middle America’s suburbs doesn’t know anything about cultural appropriation or the long history of the exploitation of Black artists.  She just thinks Justin Bieber is cute and likes to dance to his music in front of the mirror. The industry knows this and profits from Katelynn and her peers, not Hip Hop and R&B purists. And in the meantime, publications like the NY Daily News celebrate the rise of white rappers like it’s all good.
Although the music industry should be held accountable for its part in lowering the standards for quality R&B and rap and allowing subpar artists to become superstars, let’s not forget the co-signers and easily-impressed consumers who give mediocre artists a pass. I remember watching Amateur Night on Showtime at the Apollo and being upset whenever a white artist with average talent received a standing ovation while better or equally talented Black artists garnered a lukewarm response. Just because a white artist can “kinda” rap or sing doesn’t make them special.
I’m no fan of Robin, JT, or Macklemore. However, I won’t deny the fact that they are no doubt talented in their own rights. My problem is with the cornballs performing the latest minstrel show who couldn’t care less about their role in the whitewashing of rap and R&B. Let’s stop allowing generic artists to become stars just because they’re white and can carry a half-ass tune.  Novelty acts need to stick to karaoke night at their local bars, not redefine an entire genre.